Surface Tension

Sometimes it's the little things...

There I was, happily working on a band spreadsheet listening to The Great Gig In The Sky. And I broke down.

Totally fell apart.

Lost my shit.

The tears started to come down and I ugly-cried until not just one but two cats came to my studio and jumped up on my desk and on my lap did what cats do so well - absorbed my imbalanced energy and radiated back peace and calm. And as the song played out to its blissful and haunting end I slowly returned to a state of balance; not happy, not sad, not angry - just somewhat numb.

Somewhat comfortably so.

I was just going to brush this off as a happenstance - a moment in time that came and went, but I reflected for a moment and thought about why the rage and the sorrow and the bottled up worry suddenly flew up and out, and the best I can muster is that Clare Torry’s vocals and Rick Wright’s piano are an elemental form of sorcery, because I’ve known many others who have experienced transcendent moments when listening to this particular piece of music. And it may come as a surprise to a fair few that The Great Gig In The Sky is about death. And when Clare was brought into the studio she was given not much direction other than ‘sing about death’, and so she did. And in one take forever etched he voice in the collective subconscious of anyone who has ever listened to this album.

It just happened that today it triggered something massive inside.

Maybe it’s coz today just felt ‘bluer’ than other days.

Maybe because it happened on Veteran’s Day and I feel deep sorrow for how this country - and in particular this regime - treats its soldiers. Now they are not much more than props for a deranged shithead who cares for aught but himself. And from what I’ve read, the rank and file are not feeling it either.

Maybe it’s because we don’t have a representative government anymore (as if we ever did - hah!) and everything these Nazi cosplayers are doing is anathema to what this country stood for for nearly 250 years.

It could be because I feel absolutely miserable about all the families being ripped apart by jackbooted thugs and I feel deep empathy for all the immigrants who have more to offer this country than J6 insurrectionists ever will, gentle hard-working souls now being imprisoned and hauled off to gulags who-the-fuck-knows-where.

Or maybe it’s because my daughter may never experience the level of carefree worry that I knew when I was a sparkling fresh teenager discovering Pink Floyd’s Dark Side and hearing this track for the first time, sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, facing the speakers, in the stereo sweet spot, doing nothing but listening intently - no iPhone, no distractions - just the music and the moment.

And maybe it’s just the change in the weather - as my shoulder and knees portend atmospheric shenanigans.

All I know is that this release was well overdue and was a reset, allowing a lot of things to simultaneously sort themselves out without having the burden of analysis and over-thinking get in the way.

Music does that.

And after this moment in time I also better understand that what I am doing on stage and off is having a small but measurable impact and it makes me feel grateful that I am able to do this. To bring healing. To build community. To share ideas and sorrows and triumphs - however big or small.

To be there for others and stand up to injustice.

So yeah, deep breath - chin up - a shake of the head and it’s back into the fray, because there’s a lotta wood to chop and water to carry and music to be made and hugs to be given and hope to be farmed. Because what we sow now, we will reap later. And I so badly want it to be good and beautiful and in abundance - for my loved ones and for my friends and for my family.

Just know that I love all y’all. Stay strong and be kind.

And if you feel so inclined: